“This is a volcano. But, you should never sit on a volcano. They are very dangerous. You should only just watch them.”

Gottcha!

Stop-action motion – shutter speed practice

Blurred motion – shutter speed practice (I’m putting a tripod on my Christmas list! Hand-holding this shot was quite the challenge…)

Depth of field – aperture practice

Warm colors, and more DOF/aperture practice (special thanks to my willing subject, Mr. Lego Guy, borrowed from a friend’s necklace)

Last week I went to a local park for more practice, and found this furry friend…

Love the fall colors right now!

1. I think I’m technically a grown-up now
2. I don’t think growing up is quite all it’s cracked up to be

I once viewed adulthood as this sort of magical state of being wherein one had all sorts of limitless possibilities (like deciding for oneself what to eat or which activities to do in a day) with very few worries (certainly all frustration for multiplication or algebra was long past; thus leaving, so it seemed, only a permanent and varying degree of worry about those “bills”, but a job takes care of those efficiently enough). There would be some sort of “arrival ceremony” to define the transition out of childhood and into adulthood. After all the waiting of childhood, I would have finally reached “it.”

But, to start with, the transition was rather fuzzy. No angel heralds or even a certificate of achievement. Instead, I just kinda got here, and I’m still not sure at what point “here” became “here” rather than “there.” Was it high school or college graduation? Earning a driver’s license? First job? First international trip? First income tax payment?

Adulthood seems so, well, ordinary. Kinda disillusioning. But what’s missing?

I read an article last week in which the author referred to “undefined yearnings” and “a vague sense of discontent.” I like that phrase “undefined yearnings” because I think it is so accurate. I don’t really know what else I want; after all, I enjoy what I do, and have even had experiences I never dreamed would actually happen to me (like visiting Machu Picchu, for example). It just seems like that with all the outward signs of growing up (owning a car, paying taxes) there is something missing on a deeper level.

And I’m finally figuring out that what may I may have overlooked are the several inner changes that need to take place as well. The change from knowing about Jesus through the Sunday school flannel graphs to knowing Jesus Himself, in a deeper, more personal way. The change to discover Jesus as a real companion through life’s journey. The change of receiving approval from Him, and not by jumping through the hoops of the world’s “rites of passage.”

I have a long way to go! But slowly I’ve begun taking these undefined yearnings back to the Lord, asking Him to define and then fulfill whatever those yearnings are. If it includes outward changes, so be it, but those are secondary. I want to find contentedness in life as it is, instead of striving to make it what I thought it should be. I want to know Christ, rather than spend my life chasing ever-changing fancies. To recognize the beauty of His world, the adventure of a God-ordained journey, and the intimacy of fellowship with the best Friend I can ever have.

Maybe this growing up thing really is going to work out… just a little differently than expected, that’s all.

The task of the leader is to get his people from where they are to where they have not been.
– Henry Kissinger

I’ve been overwhelmed by how abundantly the Lord has been providing for this trip, and guiding me each step of the way.  There have been so many reassurances, both small and big, and I’m looking forward to seeing what He has in store.

Quick facts:

• Trip dates: June 4-30, 2011
• Destination: Chiapas, Mexico
• Team hosts: Nathan and Julie Terrell (the family that I lived with last summer)
• Team: 11 members, 4 of whom I already know (+ myself, well, actually some days I wonder if I really do know myself, but anyway )
• Schedule: 2 jungle trips (Tojolabal and Zoque areas), plus time in San Cristobal
• Ministries: kids programs, water filters, smokeless stoves, plus possible construction, orphanage visit, etc.
• Team blog: http://www.globalencounter.net/category/blog/chiapais2011
• Excitement level: high

This year we have the likely addition of at least one multi-day backpacking component during our time in the jungle. That will add a certain element of adventure previously lacked by jungle teams. Obviously internet access will be non-existent during that time, but we’ll post blog reports and lot of pictures when possible.

I’ve been learning a lot about faith in the past few weeks as the Lord has abundantly met my needs. One example is that I needed a larger and more sturdy backpack for the trip, and was looking around to purchase one. Through a series of events, a homeschool mom in our area that doesn’t even know me lent me her backpack that she has also previously used on mission trips. I wasn’t originally wanting to borrow something since I can’t guarantee return condition, but she insisted that she’d love for me to use and enjoy it with no worries. Additionally, all my trip and flight expenses have been provided for as well, so now it’s just a matter of getting things wrapped up here and getting out there to do what the Lord has planned. He is so awesome!

Praying for wisdom and a proper focus during these next couple of weeks as I work to get everything ready to go. Its easy to get swept up in the overwhelming tide of everything left to do before leaving, but I am continually reminded that I work in God’s strength, not my own. His grace is sufficient for each step and I don’t want to miss moments of fellowshipping with Him because I am preoccupied with stuff.

17 days, and counting…